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::: Check out: Thank god for Mimi Smartypants, because otherwise I might have missed this incredibly wonderful forum thread. Artifact:
| Thursday, June 9, 2005
The good news is, it's supposed to be sunny for at least another few hours! Then the forecast calls for rain. FOR THE NEXT 5 GODDAMN DAYS. I really shouldn't complain, I know this, considering what happened to my body a couple weeks ago when we had that heat wave. My god, all of a sudden I started retaining enough water to successfully douse a 47-acre forest fire. People, my feet - normally the only part of my body I can truthfully describe as either "dainty" or "bony" - became like fleshy balloon animals. My toes morphed into ugly, puffy cashew nuts and my ankles looked like I was recovering from multiple hairline fractures. Elevating my feet did not help. Submerging my feet in a tub of freezing cold water did not help. The only thing that made the Michelin action go away was the return to milder temperatures. What is going to happen to me in July? In August? Oh, don't say it. Just - I don't want to know. Every time I buy more maternity stuff, I tell myself that it will be the last of my windsail-sized clothing acquisitions for a while, but my midsection just...keeps...GROWING. I left the house wearing a pair of cropped black pants the other day, only to discover that the elasticized waist that had been designed to sit just under a first trimester belly was being rudely pushed southbound by my 25-week soccer-ball-sized belly. I spent the entire day furtively hiking up my pants and walking in tiny mincing steps to try and slow their inevitable descent towards my knees, before making a beeline to the mall to whip out my scuffed debit card yet again, because I'll be damned if I'm going to put up with uncomfortable clothes while I'm playing host body to a very small, energetic human being who apparently has access to a trampoline. I think I'm done for a while now, though, because all of my stuff has tons of extra room for the next couple of months of belly expansion (after that, I shall cloak myself in muumuus and lacy tablecloths), but like I said, it's summer wear, dammit, so let's work in some more sun breaks, Seattle, mmmkay? ::: From the "and you thought YOUR coworkers were annoying" file: From: JB -- From: Coworker
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